I wrote my first post four years ago and my last one four months ago.
After uploading the last post I have realized sadly that I have no readers at all.
I mean I was aware of this fact all the time but it is only after the usual no response of any kind, it has suddenly dawned on me that I have no audience at all.
Sure, some of my friends have commented once in a while but all in all I must admit that as a blogger I am a total failure.
I have a hard time to connect with this fact and part of me knows the reasons for this but still, the fact that after four years I didn’t create a real dialog with any kind of audience, feels humiliating.
I think my language is plain but my sentences can be quite long and sometimes tedious.
My subject matter is universal but maybe my personal angle is not really interesting.
I have decided right from the very beginning that I will write from a personal perspective.
I cannot see any other reason to write a blog if it’s not from a personal angle.
I have a hard time to connect to anything that is not written from one’s own life experience and knowledge.
I know my SEO sucks.
I know I do not have enough links to other people writing on the same subjects.
I know, I do not use the social networks enough to invite people to visit my blog.
Something in me rebels against all of the neat rules of making a blog a success.
It feels so artificial and so predictable. How can you be predictable and original at the same time?
Some would say that the originality is supposed to be in the content and perhaps the style but all the rest is hard work of going after your audience in any way you can.
Perhaps they are right. I have hard time following rules.
In the beginning I was quite contend to write for myself, since I believe that it is a part of the process of blogging. We all in a way write for ourselves. I believe it is the real power of the whole concept of the blog as a tool of self expression. Since I was determined to learn the intricacies of self hosting, I was concerned for a while about building the internal structure and make it work so it didn’t bother me in the beginning not to be visible.
I wanted the freedom to solve all kinds of problems without involving people that would probably be bored with the mechanics of operating a self hosted wordpress blog.
Recently I have updated my Thesis theme which is really a major update. The result is that my blog fell apart. Now I have to restructure it again and it is a real drag.
I never thought that this will be so hard. There is a hidden promise behind blogging that says you do not really need to know coding but it is still a far cry from the simplicity of using say a phone or even a car. Usability is still in its infancy and there is a huge gap between the promise of simplicity implied by experts. I know. I could choose a blog that is not self hosted like typepad, blogger or wordpress.com and they do have excellent platforms that releases newbie’s like myself from tinkering with the inner structure and mechanics of a blog. But as I said, the promise of having a high level of control over the design is so tempting that it was hard to resist.
I am writing about all this with some feeling of disappointment but I do not think that I will give up.
After all, I have no one to blame but myself. Still, as I blunder around I am learning a lot and
with all the complaining, I feel that perhaps the most important thing that I have learned is the importance of knowing when it is time to stop playing with stuff under the hood and ask for an expert help. I think it is about right now.